Christmas cracker joke competition

And here they are! The finest selection of Christmas cracker jokes from our in-house competition! We've had some great fun reading your entries - so many thanks to all who took part

Get ready to laugh – or groan!

Why was Cinderella no good at football? Because her coach was a pumpkin! - Candice

Why did the Turkey Cross the road? because the Chicken didn’t want to go to the Christmas Dinner - Maxine

Why was Theresa May sacked as nativity manager? She couldn't run a stable government! – Lorne

What happened when Santa went speed dating... he pulled a cracker – Pamela

How does Father Christmas strain his vegetables?  In an advent colander – Jackie

How does a snowman lose weight? He stands by a radiator – Julie

Why did the orange take a prune to the Christmas party? Because he couldn't find a date! – Stephen

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? - A woolly jumper – Micki

How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit? No Brussels – Inga

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Can you smell carrots? – Melanie

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy – Catherine

I got a Christmas card full of rice today, I think it was from my Uncle Ben – Liz

What do sheep say to each other at Christmas? Merry Christmas to ewe – Theresa

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school? The elf-abet! – Hilary

How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed! – Liz

Why are Christmas trees bad knitters? Because they are always losing their needle – Alison

Why did Santa’s little helper go to see the Doctor? For “elf” reasons – Noeline

Two Snowmen were standing in a field. One said Can you smell carrots? – Judy

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite - Helen